I HOPE YOU LOSE YOUR LUGGAGE

Today’s playlist: Coldplay at Glastonbury 2011.

Michele Brent Bissig and I enjoy traveling. Every now and then you just have to get away, cleanse the palate and take in some knew scenery. We often toss bags in the truck and just take off, no agenda but fun and each other.

Not to sound nerdy, but wouldn’t it be cool to do some time-traveling? To go into the future to check out the landscape or jump backward and revisit life, people and events. I know I would.

I was having this exact conversation with a group of people not long ago and the question was asked what we would pack for a trip into tomorrow. Good question.

I generally pack light when traveling, and I can be ready for the beach in about 10 minutes. Our daughters pack virtually everything they own when they travel, often leaving my large SUV cramped for space.

Tonight at midnight we step into a new time; 2015, and I have to ask, what are you taking with you?

This past year I have experienced many joys.

Our son, Ryan Bissig left the nighttime world of being UPS supervisor and now has a wonderful daytime job.

Our daughter, Sara Cooley, married Casey Cooley, a wonderful man of integrity, and the two just purchased and moved into their new home. He is settling into his first year teaching and she is in administration at UK.

Emilee Bissig, our youngest daughter has moved back home from spending two years in Colorado Springs and has joined our staff at church. We are glad to have her home.

Our church is growing and is doing more to be a blessing in our community than I ever thought possible. Some days the mission we are on can be intimidating to me.

Those are the joyful highlights, but there have been sorrows.

Like watching my uncle David Summers suffer and waste away from cancer and then succumb to it’s grip.

Watching my brother and his wife live the ebb and flow existence of good news, bad news, surgery and then the death of their six month old little girl. Hell on earth if you ask me.

Watching my mother navigate the loss of her brother and then granddaughter. My parents are strong people.

I have participated in 16 funerals this past year. Apart from family, the most painful was the funeral of an inspiring young man, Zachariah Hampton. He was involved in our special needs and audio/visual ministry at Life Church. He challenged us, and his absence is often noted.

People who have taken my words and actions out of plain, simple context and purposefully twisted them to suit their own agenda. It hurts.

That is the short list of sorrows.

When we pack for a trip we generally take our favorite clothing and accessories, suitable for the purpose and environment to which we are traveling. So, let me ask; what are you packing for your trip into 2015?

You can take all that you want or you can leave all that you don’t.

Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

I understand some pain, such as the lost of a loved one, may follow you for many years. But, there are some things we can leave behind. Unforgiveness, bitterness, drama, bigotry, hate, trivial differences that divide. Those my friends don’t belong in our future, especially if you are following the purpose and plan that God has for your life. We have much to do!

Leave the baggage in 2014!

So what do we take into next year? I’m packing hope. I’m packing love, joy, patience and faith. I am packing so that 20 years from now, if we have discovered a way to do some time-travel, that 2015 won’t be on my list of times to stop because I have something to fix.

Actually, there are 9 plus hours left in 2014. Time enough to right a wrong, make an apology, make a phone call, pay a visit. Time to make things right, before it’s too late.

Tonight at midnight I will ring in the new year with a kiss, a song and a prayer…and very little baggage.

Hoping you can to the same.

On another note, thank you for allowing me to speak into your life. I pray I have been a blessing and an encouragement in someway.

Happy New Year!

A CHRISTMAS DINNER DATE

I had wonderful time with our youngest daughter; Emilee Bissig last night.

For my Christmas gift this year, Emilee decided to plan a dinner date night at one of our family’s favorite restaurants; Ruth’s Chris. While as a parent, I was extremely hesitant to allow her to spend that amount of money, I was advised to follow through with the engagement.

She arrived at the house at 4:30pm, in advance of our reservation at 5pm, and blew the horn. I remained in my chair in the living room, enforcing a house rule that all dates with our daughters must never begin with the blowing of the car horn, but a courteous knock at the door and greeting those who are home. She came in to the house, we posed for few pictures and left for our date, and as customary, she opened the passenger car door for me getting into the truck. Hilarity ensued!

We had a great time together, discussing events, old friends, new relationships, and future plans and ideas. Food soon arrived and was the perfect capstone to a perfect evening.

At a table nearby were a couple of young men, her age. At one point during dinner, she excused herself to the ladies room and pairs of eyes followed and it hit me, she is now an adult.

Time has passed far too quickly. I blinked.

Upon gradation, Emilee accepted a ministry residency at my brother’s church in Colorado Springs, Colorado. She completed her time there and after two years, returned home and joined our staff. It has been a busy and hectic seven months and last night was a huge reminder of how much she has grown up.

Soon dinner was over, and the drive home included great music and conversation. After saying good night and watching her leaving down our drive, I closed the door with a great confidence, knowing Emilee has learned well and is a capable adult. She can handle life and much of what it will throw at her.

I am proud of her.

But knowing this has come at a cost. Michele and I have not always been the popular parents with our children. Often making difficult decisions on their behalf, some of which were not understood at the time and sometimes led to great disagreement. There were times when we felt like parental-failures and we were doing more harm than good.

There have been many nights kneeling at the tear-stained, living room sofa in prayer, or walking the floors out of concern for them and their future. We know God heard every prayer that has been prayed and has been attentive to our children. He has been faithful!

Last night was a payoff, of sorts. A reminder that doing what is right may be unpopular and painful at the time, but in the end, has a great, great reward.

Seeing our children grow to be solid people, with a plan for their life offers me great hope and peace.

The service, crab cakes, salad, ribeye, asparagus and béarnaise sauce, and sweet potato casserole where phenomenal, as expected. Ruth’s Chris is the best.

Having dinner with your youngest child, who is no longer a child, but now an adult…is almost a little more than my fatherly heart can put into words. I am proud of the woman she has and is becoming.

One more thing…Dads, date your wife AND your daughters!! Show them how a man is supposed to treat them. It will teach them and give them confidence to never settle for anything less that what they deserve.

JOY! TO THE WORLD THE LORD HAS COME!

It’s Christmas Eve.

The greatest night of the year.

So many things remain the same in our home; the wrapping of gifts, the baking of seasonal treats, the rushing of last minute errands, the excitement, anticipation and reflecting.

So many things change in our home; family and friends who have gone on before us. I still miss my Paw Paw, my grandparents and Michele’s father, each and every Christmas Eve. Now we will miss my Uncle David who is now gone.

Children grow and begin creating lives of their own. On our first Christmas, after Michele Brent Bissig and I married, I found myself in an unfamiliar sort on Christmas Eve. What is normally and should have been a joyous occasion, had turned uncharacteristically for me.

I was missing my younger brothers and sisters whom I had grown with. Being much younger, they were the ones who set the Christmas excitement-barometer in our house, and now I was no longer living at home and felt that missing piece.

This year, I find myself come full-circle of sorts, but equal in pain. Now my child, Sara Cooley has gone to be with her new family and I am adjusting. I am sure tomorrow when Casey Cooley is with us, his wonderful family will experience the same.

Even with change, all is well. God is good.

Luke 2:10 And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.11 For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. 12 And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. 13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, 14 Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

It is my prayer on this still, winter night, that family would take preeminence over gifts, meals and travel.

That the light of the Savior, the Messiah, Emmanuel; God with us, would find it’s way into your life.

That you would find His comfort, joy and peace resting upon your life.

It’s Christmas Eve.

It is the greatest night of the year.

Joy! To the world, the Lord has come
Let earth receive her King
And let every heart prepare Him room

Merry Christmas.

IT CAME UPON A MIDNIGHT CLEAR

Happy Christmas Eve, Eve!

I hope your Christmas plans are coming together and all is well.

This is going to be really long…hang with me here, I know it will bless you and strengthen you!

About an hour ago we concluded our Life Church Louisville Angel Tree. The last gifts have been picked up and delivered, and because of the incredible generosity of those in our church and community, 145 well-deserving kids will have an incredible Christmas morning. GOD IS SO GOOD. Many “thanks” to Rebecca Summers and Peggy Gilbert Kersting for excellent planning and organizing this years Angel Tree!

To say the least it has been a faith-challenging and faith-building experience. What began this year as a small benevolence extension to assist some of the families in our church, exploded into helping many in our community.I am a firm believer that when we are following God’s path for our life, He allows things to happen along that path to just blow our faith into whole new levels.

Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

A family with one child reached out to us wanting help way back in November. Their story was heartbreaking to read, let alone to validate. Once approved for assistance, the child was adopted, almost immediately. I was thrilled to know his Christmas was going to be provided. Then the person who had adopted the child sent me a message letting us know she had unfortunately found herself financially hurting due to unexpected circumstances and would have to return the child. I told the young woman not to worry, we were grateful for her willingness to help.

Fifteen minutes after reading her message, I received a call from Kim Anderson from Curves in Auburndale. She wanted to help a family. I assigned her a family of two children, and asked if I could also add the child who was now available. Kim willingly took all three children. Once again, I was relieved, knowing this specific child would be taken care of.

Now here is were it get’s interesting…

The following Sunday at church, a flurry of people came to us wanting to help and we (unknowingly) reassigned the child to a second family. Thus, the most needy child in the group had been assigned to two different people. After we discovered the mistake, we just left it alone. We figured with the circumstances he was living in, he could use not just a good Christmas, but an extraordinary Christmas!

Yesterday, we picked up the gifts from Kim for the two children and this one child. Once back at the office, it was discovered I had provided Kim with the wrong clothing sizes for the child. Kim bought everything (and more) than needed, but because of my error, the gifts for the most needy child were all the wrong size. I was sick! Basically, I was headed to the mall and Toy’s R Us! I had determined this child was going to have Christmas gifts.

A few minutes, later the second family, who had also been assigned the child’s name, walked in and they had bags and bags of gifts. They came through in spades and everything was going to be fine! I was relieved!

NOW, here is were it get’s even more interesting…

Yesterday morning I received a heartbreaking Facebook message from Carolyn Sadler Mills , who had a family of three in a terrible situation and wanted to know if we could help. I had never met Carolyn, but when I read the message I really wanted to help. But how? We had 60 more kids still on the waiting list. I felt so compelled to help Carolyn. But, I felt so compelled to help Carolyn. I just couldn’t shake the message she sent.

I told Michele Brent Bissig I just couldn’t do this any more. I just can’t say “no” and I find myself in a lot of trouble because of that! (June Cawthon Frank, Shannon Geist…lol!) I have everything I need and more and there is something inside of me that compels me to want to be sure we have done all we can do.

I just prayed God would show me what to do.

Then…someone anonymously delivered a large bag of news toys to the church!

Then…someone else arrived with shampoo, tooth paste, deodorant and toilet paper and wrapping paper!

Then…someone else came in with a box of food!

All of this unsolicited!!

Someone had also donated children’s clothing and we went through it, pulling out clothes for the kids that were the right size. I called Carolyn, and soon after she and her husband Charlie, arrived at the church with the complete list of the children’s sizes. We were able to match everything for two of the three kids! It was crazy-good!

As amazing as it was though, we still had one child without anything! Once again, I had a child who had nothing, and once again I was headed to the mall and Toy’s R Us!

Then Michele and Becky remembered we had a bag of clothes donated for the original boy who I had mistakenly assigned twice…and also assigned the wrong sizes for…

…AND AS THEY WENT THROUGH THE BAGS THEY DISCOVERED THE CLOTHES WERE THE EXACT SIZES NEEDED FOR THE NEW CHILD!!!

Yesterday afternoon, in the back of the church, a group a grown adults stood stunned, crying and laughing…all thanking God!

A mistake I had made many weeks ago, was now helping a child who otherwise would have had nothing. God had taken my mistake and had turned it around to be blessing someone.  Had I not messed up, this child may have gone without.

Friends, we are all going to blow it. But when we do, trust God to turn it around and use it for His glory. When that happens, others are blessed and our faith grows and we accomplish great things for the benefit of others!

Wow! What a wonderful Christmas Season this has been.  Thank you for all of your help.

Today, is my grandmother, Thelma Summers, 90th birthday and we are going to celebrate. Thank you for your many cards, she will be thrilled.

We love you and are grateful to have you in our lives!

ALL BECAUSE OF CHRISTMAS (Part 1)

Welcome to Tuesday, everyone! It’s a little wet out there, so be careful on your way.

I’d like to take a page from my message last Sunday at Life Church Louisville.

Not long ago I heard a story about a young girl who became lost in a shopping mall as her parents shopped. A casual search was made by them and as the evening wore on and closing time approached, the girl could not be found. Mall security notified the police and the mall was combed. Eventually, she was located in a changing room where her mother had been trying on clothes. Seems the little girl fell asleep and her mother left the store without her.

When the little girl was taken to the office to be reunited with her parents, they discovered the parents had left to go home. Upon arriving at home, the police found the parents watching a movie and eating a pizza that had been delivered.

When I was younger I had a similar incident happen to me in Sears, but my parents frantically searched for me. If one of my children became lost, I would spare no expense or effort, and move heaven and earth until they were found. Not go home, watch a movie or eat a pizza.

Luke 2:8-15 says “And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them…11 Today…a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. 12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.” 15…the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.” 16 So they hurried off and found…the baby (Jesus).

Shepherds were the “bottom-feeders” of society, typically uneducated, socially backwards and dirty. They were also “unclean” and according to the Law of Moses, it meant they could not come to the temple to worship, could not find atonement (forgiveness) from their sin, thus leaving them separated from God. What a terrible lifestyle, one that was passed on from generation of shepherds to another. Lives, stuck in a perpetual rut, and one without hope for anything better.

I find it fascinating that God elected to tell the wonderful message of His son’s birth to a group of social and spiritual outcasts. A group of people so far from Him, separated and lost because of their sin. Verse 15 clearly states that “…the Lord” had told them. How great is that?

Friends, God is searching for you today! Regardless of what we have done and how far we have wandered off, He is moving heaven and earth to find you and pull us out of our ruts.

As this world becomes darker, I believe He is searching more diligently and pulling out all stops to find His lost children, to heal their wounds, repair their life and hold them close to His heart. All of this is possible, because of Christmas!

The shepherds lives were forever changed, the Messiah had come and He was going to make everything new.

Like the shepherds, many today are living their lives lost in a rut. Ruts of depression, loneliness, addiction and abuse. Pain, heartbreak, fear and worry. Ruts of sin and selfishness. God is searching the ruts of this world to find you, rescue you and bring hope to you.

All because of Christmas.

When I was five, I wandered off from my parents in a Texas mall. An associate found me and took me to the office. When my parents came to the office, they were panic-stricken, but relieved. I didn’t think anything was wrong, see I had no idea I was lost…until I was found.

Trust me, my parents would still be searching for me, 43 years later. They would have never given up hope. And neither will God.

Because of Christmas, God searches. As it get’s darker. He’s searches harder.

For you.

To make all things new.

All because of Christmas.

Christmas is…RECOVERY

I enjoy traveling and believe it or not, I enjoy traveling by car, especially to places I have never been. I’m not afraid to fly, by any means, it’s just I enjoy new scenery.

I have to admit, I have a great sense of direction. If I am going somewhere I have never been before, I always look at a map and and plan my route. I hate being lost, it is a waste of time and can be costly. Like when Michele and I got lost in Miami…but that’s another story for another day.

Many years ago, when Sara was still in high school, we had planned a trip to Asbury University, in Wilmore, KY to participate in their Fall Access Day event. It was a two day visit to the school were students and parents can attend workshops and classes, meet the faculty and staff, and tour the school. Kinda like a recruiting visit. I had not been to Wilmore in nearly 15 years, but was confident I knew the way and never took time to look at the directions.

A lot can change in 15 years.

It was a beautiful drive. Horse country is absolutely stunning. We were having a great time, had plenty of time before our first session so we casually meandered through the backroads and fences of central Kentucky. The next thing we know, we are in Harrodsburg, some 25 miles past Wilmore. I had missed a turn AND made a wrong turn in the dark. We were lost!

Jesus said in Matthew 11:28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and I will give you rest.”

After driving for several minutes, Sara reminded us we had to be at the school by a certain time and time was quickly melting off of the clock. The stress level in the truck began to rise, and the more I drove, the more stressful everyone became. I would have stopped for directions, but there are very few places to do so in that part of the state. What had begun as a peaceful, serene drive, was now an emotional and stressful trip.

I soon found a small country store and was given directions. Lucky for us we were just a few miles and a turn from Wilmore. We made it to the first session with minutes to spare.

When we sat down in our seats, an overwhelming sense of relief swept over me, I was exhausted. This was an important event and getting us there safely, and on-time was my responsibility. Sara didn’t want to be THAT student, showing up late and looking unprofessional.

We live in a very dark world and because we are disconnected to God, we often miss our turns and lose our direction. It can be extremely costly and can rob us of the joy of living. Jesus knew that would be the case and that is why He reached out to a weary-world and gave an invitation; “Come to me and I will give you rest!”

One of the messages of Christmas is recovery.

Jesus is fully aware of the hardship and the struggle you are facing today. He is fully aware of the pain, hurt and disappointment you live your life with. Jesus is fully aware of the frustration, conflict, debt and crisis that has found your life, and He invites us to come to Him and recover from it all.

Many of us have found ways to numb our life, to just cope and get by, living life day to day, but friend, that is not the life God has planned for you. People pass themselves off as having it altogether and everything looks perfectly in place, but beneath is a broken mess.

The night I walked into that general store, looking for the way to where I needed to be, I was as lost as I had ever been. The man who gave me directions didn’t laugh at me because I was turned around, lost in the dark and running late. He was kind and sincere and because of him, we found our way. We recovered our right course, and peace was restored in the truck.

Needless to say, we had a great weekend, Sara was accepted into the program and we have been traveling those backroads ever since.

Regardless of where you are in your life today, God is waiting for you to come to Him. He knows the path and will help you recover both lost ground and time, and get you where you are going safely.

If Michele or I can help you find your direction, send us a message. We’re here for you!

DON’T SINK MY BATTLESHIP!

Did you know that in the United States there are over 100 million used video games sold each year? Wow, to think they keep statistics on that kind of stuff.

Many years ago, I received the “old-school” board game; “Battleship” as a Christmas gift. I remember sitting for hours playing the game with my brothers.

For those who’ve never played the game, it is basically a guessing game in which the object is to sink your opponents battleships, aligned on an alphabetical and numerical grid that is out of sight. Once your opponent was onto your pattern, it was a matter of time before he was able to sink your ship.

Great fun, as long as your battleships didn’t sink.

Psalm 34:17-19 “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. 18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. 19 The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all”

Life has a way of sinking people and turning lives upside down. Relationship struggles, hard to control debt, and over-committed, busy schedules can all lead to discouragement. Especially during this time of year when those issues can be compounded by depression, loneliness and uncertainty of the upcoming new year. Discouragement is wicked and attacks everyone. If we’re not careful, we will find ourselves sunk deep into the mire of despair and hopelessness which leads to defeat.

Today’s scripture is one that I have leaned heavily on all of my life. Whenever I find myself becoming overwhelmed to the point of discouragement and fear, it steadies me. God is always near!

Another thing that I have employed is journaling. I have kept a daily journal going since 1982 and recently I have begun encouraging our entire church to do the same.

In my journal I write:
-A daily verse that I am mediating on.
-Important life events, activities
-What I am praying about; struggles, needs, concerns
-When God answers a prayer, I date it

Why do I do this? Because when I feel my life sinking I can pull out a journal and read several pages and it strengthens me. Often times I see what was about to sink me and what I had been praying about on July 18, 2012, is no longer an issue in my life. God took care of it, I am encouraged!

That crisis that almost took me out on May 28, 1984…I made it! I’m encouraged!
The defeat I was facing on July 17, 2000…I’m still standing! God is strong!
The health crisis that we faced in November 2012…over! All is well! God heals!

The death of my niece, Baby Aleena last month. Tough, hard. I’ve made it this far, I’ll keep moving forward…I need God to steady me. According to past history, God has and God will again.

Each time I face difficulty, I know God is bigger and everything is going to be alright. I am living proof. I have 32 years of it in writing that I can recall of God’s personal faithfulness to myself and my family.

For Christmas I want you to ask someone to get you a journal. Begin marking time. Journal your pain, your struggles and hardships. Journal your victories!

Because when life calls your number, and sends a torpedo your way it will be a reminder that you can stand firm knowing God has been there for you before, He is faithful, and he will be there again!

God Bless you, today!

THE HOMELESS NEED BUSINESS CARDS

Think about the last conversation or series of conversations you were involved in. Who was it with and who or what was the topic? Chances are it was about someone else. According to a New York Daily News article by Rosemary Black, talking about other people (gossip) makes up 80% of all conversations. That’s a lot of hot-air. We sure love to talk and when we do, we usually do a lot of it about one other.

With that in mind; First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt once wrote “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”

Where do you fall in that equation? Do you have a great mind, an average mind or a small mind?

I enjoy being around idea people, keeps me from being average and small minded. But really, I enjoy being around people who think, create and design. People who are innovative, pushing the boundaries, people who look at a situation and ask “how can it be changed or improved?”

Exodus 35:31 says “…he is given the Spirit of God, and wisdom, and understanding, with knowledge and with all kind(s) of skills…”

The scripture is describing a man who God had chose to help build the Tabernacle, the House of the Lord and the abilities God had placed within him to accomplish that task with excellence.

Today, people, you and I, are the house, or the dwelling place of the Lord (1 Corinthians 6:19) and you and I are called, and given the ability to build, strengthen and encourage one another. God gives us His spirit which enables us to do great things to benefit one another. We may not realize it but God’s Spirit, or His presence, is in us to make a difference. A deposit has been made into us, so we can make a deposit into someone else. (A freebie from this past Sunday’s message at Life Church Louisville.)

One of those people making a difference is a neighbor of mine. Larry Gade is a normal guy like you and I, but he is also a man with a great mind. He has come up with an idea to help build, strengthen and encourage other people less fortunate, specifically the homeless in our community. And I believe it’s and idea from God.

Last week, Larry had an encounter with a homeless man in our community. Larry was picking up some lunch and ran into a young, homeless guy who ask Larry to get him something to eat. Without thought, Larry bought his lunch, taking note of his beaten down posture. The 22 year-young man told Larry that he was living in and out of a shelter, looking for work when he could, taking a bus from place to place.

Larry, like many others, was ill-prepared to deal with the situation and it left him somewhat perplexed. The range of emotion that he encountered remained with him all day and out of that was born an idea. A great idea, I believe! His idea? Creating a business card that will contain resource information to help well deserving people not only find food and shelter, but emotional and spiritual support, and assistance which could pull them out of the homeless life they are living.

So the next time you or I have an encounter with someone needing help, not only can we buy their lunch or offer bus fare, we can also be equipped to go further by handing them a small business card filled with resource information so they can find the help they need. As a pastor, I discover many people want help, but have no idea where to go to get it. Now, at least in this arena, that is going to change. Just think, you can be the starting point of someone making a decision that could ultimately alter their life.

What a great idea, from a great mind! Who knows, this may lead to something much more significant, encompassing more resources and touching many more lives.

Stan Curtis did it. Yeah, he made mistakes. But, please don’t judge, Stan.  The man is responsible for feeding hundreds of thousands of people and it all began with an idea.

All endeavors and inventions begin with an idea.

Ideas come from great minds who refuse to be average and refuse to be small.

Let’s be great today! Let’s break out of the small and negative conversations, Facebook posts and drama and let’s begin conversations filled with ideas and creativity.

We could actually change the world.

DRINKING POISON AND EXPECTING SOMEONE ELSE TO DIE!

Happy Friday all you good people of the earth!

Only two more Friday’s until Christmas. If you have yet to start your Christmas shopping, it’s time to get busy.

Yesterday, I shared a very painful experience and the personal prison of bitterness and unforgiveness I found myself in as a result of the actions of others. Many of you responded and by yesterday afternoon, so many messages had filled my inbox, that I spent two hours before church replying to them.

My heart aches for each story of betrayal, abuse, neglect and abandonment shared. Thankfully, most all of who responded wanted to know how to forgive those who had cause them terrible pain and be set free from their prison of pain.

Philippians 4:13 says “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” This scripture was written by the Apostle Paul who was being severely persecuted, beaten in a physical prison. He was in essence reminding himself that in every circumstance, God’s will can be done.

With that in mind let me remind you that the prison of unforgiveness and bitterness is one that we willfully walk into and shut ourselves in. Think about it, we willfully keep ourselves in a hell-hole, and for what reason? Because we want to be a victim? Because we want to have an excuse for our attitudes, our failure and our drama?

In the movie Shawshank Redemption, banker Andy Dufresne is wrongfully convicted of murdering his wife and her lover and is sentenced to two consecutive life sentences. Andy methodically begins digging a tunnel with rock hammer to escape prison.

He digs for two decades.

Sadly, there are many innocent people, serving life-sentences, who have the ability to go free at anytime, but don’t. Well friends, it is time for that to change!

Understand walking out of unforgiveness and bitterness is a process.

FIRST: UNDERSTAND FORGIVENESS:
-Is not to deny or diminishing the sin or the wrong
-Is not a response to an apology…they may NEVER apologize
-Does not cover up hurt, a sin or a wrong
-Is not forgiving and forgetting
-Does not mean you pick up where you left off

BUT…

FORGIVENESS:
-Does cancel a debt
-Does remove that persons control of you
-Does forsake revenge (You’re not going to hurt them)
-Does leave justice to God
-Is a decision and a process
-Does mean you genuinely want good for them

SECOND:

YOU HAVE TO CHANGE: It is impossible for you to genuinely forgive others (and won’t) until you receive Christ’s forgiveness. You can’t give something away that you don’t have yourself.

STOP LYING: When someone has hurt you the best thing to do is tell the truth. There is a tendency for people to say; “It really wasn’t a big deal… or it’s in the past.” But, if it still hurts then it’s still in the present. Be honest with people.

STOP NURSING, REHEARSING AND CURSING:
No need to nurse the pain, keeping it alive in your heart, mind and soul. Let it die!
No need to rehearse over and over what they did to you.
No need to curse the situation. Learn and grow from the pain.

SERVE:
Go serve someone through your pain. Focusing on someone else’s pain will quickly get you past yours!

Remember, having unforgiveness and bitterness in your life is like taking a drink of poison and expecting someone else to die.

It’s time to leave that prison-life of unforgiveness and bitterness behind and experience freedom. Christ offers you the power and I have offered you the steps. Let’s do this.

If Michele or I can ever help you, drop us a message.

We love you!

Have a great weekend, everyone!

SERVING HARD TIME

I hope everyone is ready to seize the day….or, at least make it to work on time.

I want to encourage if you began reading this you’ll read all of the way to the end.

Many years ago I spent time in prison. I was in for the equivalent of a life-sentence, without parole and it was the worst time of my life.

What got me there was sort of convoluted and irresponsible. But, I was there. Doing hard time.

I had achieved what I thought was the dream job. I had a great position, great staff and I was working for a great boss. I was always early to work and late to leave. Michele and I absolutely loved what we were doing, everything was going extremely well. However, some people who I worked with didn’t care for me, nor my success and they quietly began looking for a way to get rid of me. Finally, they found a crack in my armor and overnight, I was gone.

We lost our position of five years, we lost relationships, we were humiliated and I was unemployed, all for what surmounted to a simple misunderstanding. My whole world collapsed and for a brief moment I considered the value of my life.

The more I thought about it, the more I hated these people and what they had done and I wanted them to be punished…severely. My hatred for them began consuming my thoughts, my attitude and my relationships. I woke up hating these people, I went looking for a job hating these people and I went to bed hating these people.

Before long I found myself in the prison of bitterness and unforgiveness. The hate was deep, the anger was vehement, and forgiveness unthinkable. Many of you are there this morning.

Ephesians 4:31-32 “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

When we allow the wrong actions and painful behavior of others to dictate our lives, we quickly can become bitter. Those who have wronged us can dominate our lives, our thoughts and our future. They hold us captive in a prison more harsh than Alcatraz.

If the accusations concerning comedian Bill Cosby are true, these women have lived their lives in a prison of the heart, mind and soul, some for over 30 years. That is a long time, my friend.

At some point you have to sit down and evaluate your situation. Examine your behavior towards others. Hurting people hurt people.

Do you feel that everyone is out to get you? That there is always a conspiracy against you? How do you live out your life, always guarded, always measured, thinking the worst of others? Look at what your posts on Facebook, are they filled with bitterness, unforgiveness and drama?

How did the last relationship that you were in end? How about the one before that? Is there a pattern?

I hate to say it, but your in a prison, my friend.

The irony…only you hold the key to your cell. Only you can release yourself from that walls that hold you in. You.

And we do that by letting those who have wronged us go free. By getting rid of the bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander. By being kind, compassionate to one another, forgiving each other.

If you don’t, you will carry that hurt with you from relationship to relationship, from job to job, church to church, from holiday to holiday and will never live the life that God created you to live.

The holidays are upon us. Chances are you’re going to see a family member, a friend, a co-worker who has wronged you. What will your response be?

Praying you walk away from your prison. It’s a process, I know. But, begin turning the key and opening the door to your cell today.

Praying for your freedom this morning.